Something Has Shifted

Before the holidays, I was in a deep, deep funk.  In fact I wrote a blog post that I could not even put up here.  It was uncharacteristically dark, for me.  Things seemed to conspire against me ... from the mold growing in the still un-insulated space we had re-roofed to the girl who backed out of a parking spot and hit me (while I was stopped at a traffic light).

I took some time off.  I needed to use up my nearly two weeks of remaining vacation time ... I could probably used the cash, but I needed the change of pace more.  During the 16 days hiatus, I feel like something shifted. 

Being in a deep funk, I checked in with my spirit guides and allies.  I don't remember mush of the journey.  I went to a council fire.  I asked that we all meet.  We sat near a fire in my sacred medicine space.  I stated the "problem" and asked for guidance and help.  I must have drifted off to sleep.

I woke 30 minutes later feeling incredibly light, refreshed.  Something had shifted, perhaps only my perspective.
 

It is time.  While I still work as an engineer, it is time for me to start the next phase of my life.  I have trained with Shamans to be an apprentice.  I want to help people, to make a difference in the world.  Shamans have traditionally performed any number of tasks:

• Healing
• Leading ceremonies
• Preserving  culture (through stories and songs)
• Fortune Telling
• Acting as a guide to souls

While I would never call give myself the title Shaman, I have training in all of these things.  I need to build more experience in these things.  Unlike indigenous shamanic practitioners, I will continue to support myself financially through my existing career, in lieu of relying on my community.

If you could use my help, please ask.  I am glad to offer my services.  I can offer any of these things in person (if you live nearby) or over any distance.  Do not feel compelled to give anything, unless you feel so inclined after the work has proven beneficial for you.

The Universe is truly generous with her gifts.  I am so grateful that she has guided me, along my MooseBoots path, to this point in my life.

The Kid Is Alright

Kids just seem to get it.  We are born with the inherent knowledge that we are divine and that we are all connected.  They are born with wisdom beyond their time in this sphere.  They share, they comfort, they laugh without restraint, they cry unabashedly.  Children are in touch with the world, their own spirit, and their feelings.

Somewhere along the way, however, it is taught out of them, beaten out, stripped away by a society that does not value these things.  It is a shame, because so many of us seek to find these things that should never have been lost.  I guess that that is what this MooseBoots journey is about ... rekindling that knowledge, the wisdom, the connection.

Last week, before the flu ravaged our home, Wendy and I took our weekly trip to the grocery store. Normally, the place is slow and quiet on Saturday mornings when we go, but we took a side trip to eat breakfast at a local restaurant first.  It was busy when we got there, which normally sets me in a less than glowing mood (I can't imagine acting as rude as some of the people we encounter at times).  This day was different ... perhaps, the moon and stars had aligned and set the proper atmosphere.

Regardless, we ventured onward.  We breezed right through the produce section and onto the organic offerings.  Wendy stopped to get organic cane sugar and soap.  I went on to get the girls' their weekly ration (4-pack) of locally brewed soda (no preservatives, real sugar).  In the short aisle, a Mom was shopping with her young girls.  If I had to, I'd guess 18 months and 3 years old.  The younger sat in the cart.  The older wandered around her mother.

I have a way with kids.  I like them.  They like me.  I love their honesty, their joy at little things, their glow.  Perhaps, they see the same in me.  Regardless, the young girls in the cart smiled a crooked smile at me.  Of course, I smiles back, looking deep into the abundant happiness filling her eyes.  I could not help myself ... I kept looking and smiling and waved a bit.

Her mother noticed the smile and remarked that she, the girl, really loved me.  I responded that she was a cutie.  It was about this time that her older sister noticed me.  Now, I don't know how many of you know this, but a three year old CAN talk.  She started with her name.  I told her mine.  To which, she responded that he favorite movie had a character that shared my name.  It didn't take long for Mom to let us know that this could go on forever.  We took this as a hint and said our goodbyes.

The tone had now been set.  I could not refrain from smiling at people throughout the grocery store.  I did note that men don't seem to like to make eye contact and so, did not get to share in the wonder.  Several women (of all ages) met my gaze and smiled back shy smiles.  What is wrong with our society?  The same society that fills us with so much fear that it is not OK to meet someone's gaze, that it is not OK to look at anyone else, that it is not OK to talk to strangers.

Turning the corner to one of the last aisles, I noticed a woman stocking a display with cleaning products.  Clearly, she did not work at the store, so I asked if she made all of her own products.  She stopped, turned, and talked to us.  It turns out that she does make the Gracefully Clean products in her basement.  She is working on expanding the operations and she is very careful about the things she put into them.  We chatted amicably for several minutes, exchanged contact information, and parted ways.

Rounding the final corner, Wendy and I started to chat up an old woman, whose husband was not at all happy with the distraction.  Of course, she smiled and laughed and encouraged us to keep laughing to stay young at heart and healthy.  She chatted with us for the rest of the aisle, while her husband waved her to come on.

It was obvious that there was no middle ground to speak of.  Young kids and older people, in general, understand.  They will meet your eyes, speak to you from their hearts, open themselves to touch your soul and allow you to touch theirs ... to connect.  People in the middle do not.

This brought to mind  the book "Of Spirit and The Water".  In the book, the author, who is an African shaman, describes his life.  During his early year, he was left with his grandfather, which was the tradition of his tribe.  The very young children of the tribe were left with the elders.  Not because of physical ability in the field, but because both the very young and the very old were close to the divine and could share wisdom that would benefit their community.  The young were fresh and had not forgotten divinity.  The old had lived life and seen much only to return to the wisdom they had forgotten in the middle years.

So next time, you see a kid smiling at you, be sure to smile back and wave.  You never know how that reflection will influence the rest of your day, or your life.

Important Summit - The Wolverine Way

I ran across this last week.  It is right up my alley and I thought it was important enough to share with you.  Twenty-four experts are holding a summit to discuss Nature Deficit Disorder and what we can do about it.  Several of them are people I admire, including Thomas Elpel, Mike Douglas, Susun Weed, and Tom Brown Jr.  The web address is, http://thewolverineway.com/.



I look forward to listening in through the online link.  You must register to access the talks.  I'd love to hear what you think about the talks, too.

Heart Wrenching News

My heart sank at hearing the news.  I was completely devastated.  I had worked so hard to develop of loving, nurturing relationship.  Outwardly, I simply smiled and offered that it must have been a huge weight off of her shoulders.

Wendy and I have spent a lot of time together, roaming the woods, visiting the fields, writing our book.  We have shared our lives, growing, learning, seeking wisdom.  We have seen incredible sights.  We watch in wonder witnessing natural beauty spring forth from the newly thawed soil, sprouts claw to the sky, leaves unfurl to gather the warm loving sunshine, buds burst forth into vibrantly colored flowers, flowers fade to desiccated pods holding the promise of life.  The truth is that we had come to love the land and her inhabitants, with whom we gratefully worked and played. 

Things change ... it is a fact of life.  Wendy told me a few days ago that she felt a change coming.  Quite unexpectedly, the tension broke loose ... serendipitous happenings.  And, I am left to piece it all together like a large jigsaw puzzle, with a photo of the night sky framing a sliver of a waning moon.

"I sold the development last Friday ... finally."  As I said, my heart hit the floor.  "I know it has been really hard for you.  It must be a huge weight off of your shoulders."  Selfishly, I thought of all of the things Wendy and I had done to support this amazing place, the things we had experienced and learned.  This is our favorite place to forage, to hunt, to re-connect with the Earth.  It is our school, our cafeteria, our church, and our home.  And now, or soon (within a few years), this blessed sanctuary will be reduced from 25 acres of wilderness surrounded by a sea of subdivision to piecemeal 1/2 acres parcels of tamed (tortured), suburban humanity (likely complete with McMansions for the pretentious "owners" to look dissatisfied at our efforts to homestead our little piece of heaven).

"We have to move", I told Wendy as soon as we were out of ear-shot.  This comes on the same day that I was contacted by a company wooing me to accept a position that I turned down in June, and by a former co-worker who recognizes my worth and wishes to coax me to relocated an hour northeast along the coast.  It also comes as difficult times have hit the dance school my daughters attend ... not that the school has been terribly financially sound for a few years now.  Change seems to be brewing.  It is all just a question of how long do we have to react before the choice is no longer ours.

Tonight, I mourn to the land.  I mourn for our society that places so little value in anything other than that which brings value in the form of money.  I mourn for the raccoons, the opossum, the fishers, the squirrels, the deer, the hawks, the great blue herons, the geese, the turkeys, the chipmunks, the fox, the stinging nettles, the Japanese knotweed, the oaks and maples, the hemlock and pines, the blueberries, the bunchberries, the wintergreen, the partridge berries, and all of the other Beings I have yet to meet ... that they will lose their homes to be displaced by people who wish only to live on the land and not with the land.

Of course, change happens.  And while I mourn, I rejoice the moments we have shared with Nature, the Universe, and this wonderful place.  I cherish the time we have been given and the remaining time we may have.  I hold to the knowledge that every journey holds turns and twists, unexpected events that push us to realize our full potential as healers, teachers, lovers, and friends.

Thank you to the spirits of this place, that we have come to love so dearly.  Thank you to the Elementals who have helped us along our journey to grow and reclaim a piece of the heritage that we have lost through the generations that have gone before.  Thank you for the divine spark within each of us that pauses to watch as the lone hawk darts to avoid the protective mother birds, striving to give each of their young a chance to experience life on this remarkably beautiful Earth.

May you find peace in this life, and all of those to follow.

Words

Terrified, Precious woke me this morning at 03:00.  She had had a bad dream.  It was one of those where zombies are chasing you and your friends, attacking when least expected.  She was shaking, and quietly sobbed, while describing her friends being killed one by one.

I had her tell me her dream.  Actually, I had her speak her dream, all of it, into my hands.  When she was finished, I closed my hands around it and asked that the dream be changed into mere Scrabble tiles.  I asked Precious to help me with this.  When we were both satisfied, I shook my closed hands as you would when rolling dice.  She helped after a moment.  Her dreams were now nothing more than a random pile of letters held in the palms of my hands.

Perhaps that would have been adequate, but I wanted to replace the fear and panic in her heart with something positive.  I remembered, even at such an early hour, that Precious is participating, along with Wendy and her other students, in the National Novel Writer's Month (NaNoWriMo) challenge.  I asked that the jumble of letters in my hand be transformed into words for her story.  I asked that they help her achieve her writing goal and that they be useful nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives for the creation of her story..  Then, I simply blew all of these lovely words back into her head through her crown chakra.

I thought about this for a while, as I lay listening to her breath slow into a steady cadence while she drifted back to sleep.  I felt good about this work and began to think about the deeper implications.  For me, it helped re-affirm that our words, our actions, can be used to create physical change and to heal.  Speaking in itself is a physical action - our breath leaves in specific vibratory patterns which in turn move the eardrums of our listener, who hears what we say.  In this instance, however, I was able to bring about a chemical change in her tiny quivering body.  Her adrenaline levels dropped, she calmed, as we worked together to switch off her "fight or flight" instinctual reaction.

I continued to ponder, as I slowly drifted off, the impacts of our words.  Our words can soothe, heal, and teach.  They can be used to promote healing and growth all around us, and beyond.  I think of it in terms of  paying it forward ... you help someone, who in turn appreciates it and helps someone else, and so on.  Of course, the problem is that words can be used quite destructively, as well, to belittle, injure, and spread rumors, lies and discontent.  I guess it all boils down to one thing ... your intent.

Personally, I chose to be positive, an instrument of healing and assistance on every level possible, from personal to universal.  Overall, because I do slip every now and then, my intent is to be an conduit of healing, harmony, and joy.  I am fairly certain that this is one of the fundamental purposes for this MooseBoots journey - not just to learn, but to learn how to live in concert with all of the beings (humans, plants, animals, rocks, etc.) with whom I share this world.

So, today, as your read this and beyond, please consider your words carefully.  But, more importantly, be clear on your own intent.  Remember that what you put out there will be returned to you.

Beautiful People

I am the first to admit that life is hectic.  Things are moving so fast that often we do not have time to think, or appreciate things for what they are.  The girls have been busy ... they dance a combined 22 hours a week normally and then, when they are involved in something special, they dance more.  For the last few weeks, at least one of them has had class or practice six of the seven nights of the week.  It culminated this weekend with their performances in "Christmas on Broadway" at the City Theater.

Friday was the dress rehearsal.  Wendy and I sat in the audience watching the performance.  It promised to be fantastic.  Of course, there were a few people missing ... sick or otherwise committed.  Regardless, it was beautiful ... the whole scene, the singers, the dancers, the theater itself.  The little girls appeared on stage with Julia Furtado, Miss Maine in the current Miss America pageant.  She is a very nice young woman and gave each girl and autographed picture.

Saturday, the day of the first show, Wendy and I got dressed up.  I don't really like dressing up.  I am more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, but I couldn't get away with that with Wendy in a little black dress.  We got to the theater only to have to turn around to get a costume.  Still, we got back in time to take our seats and settle in for a few minutes before the show started.

Each of us, over the course of the show, took our turns getting teary eyed.  I am the first to admit to being a sap.  Those extremely beautiful moments filled each of us to overflowing.  Of course, we laughed at ourselves, which only enhanced the emotions.  Several number stood out ... a beautiful rendition of Ave Maria, our girls dancing so gracefully, and performances of the following songs, Like Mother Mary and Hard Candy Christmas.  The videos are just for you to hear the tunes.  Live and in person they were stunning ... the setting, the mood, the harmonies, the costumes.

One would think, after having seen the show a half dozen times, the novelty and emotion impact would lesson, but every performance is different.  The impact builds.  Sunday was a repeat performance on our parts.  Filled with the raw power and beauty of each song, we took our turns laughing at each others flowing tears.  Of course, we are biased.  The stars in our eyes were these three beautiful, intelligent, graceful girls.  For me, Wendy was a star of the show, too.  It was wonderful to have time together sharing such exquisite, poignant moments.  So, here are my fours star performers.

Sunday, we also attended an annual Solstice celebration at the Maine Audubon Society.  The shamans performed an Ayni Despacho ceremony.  The ceremony was rounded out with a storyteller telling a legend about the InnukSuk.  The night, again, was magical ... the lights, the mood, the humor.  Our good friends were there for the first time ... perhaps, receiving what I hope to be a good dose of love, perspective and support in the process.

This weekend showed me that I am surrounded by beauty.  There is so much that goes un-noticed most of the time in our hustle.  Yes, my weekend was busy.  And no, I did not get to spend enough time out in Nature.  But, even while cutting down a neighbor's tree for both firewood and a Christmas tree, I was reminded, by a sweet little mouse, that we are fortunate.  We have the support, abundance, and beauty we need to satisfy our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  My MooseBoots path is certainly full of these things.

Who Knew? We All Feel The Connection!

Something unexpected happened this week … something amazing.


I was in the front yard, wanting to be outside and carve a spoon, perhaps even boil a possum skull that I’ve had laying around for over a year now. I asked Little Fire Faery if she would like to start a fire, which she did. It was just the two of us … Wendy was working, Precious was watching a movie, and Big Little Sister had a friend over and they were contentedly emailing each other across the 1 foot span.

Just as the flames sprung to life from the fire pit, Big Little Sister and friend came outside quickly. They put the computers down and voluntarily walked outside to play be near the fire. Then, a short time later, Precious came out to be with us. Little Fire Faery sat, in half lotus position, near the fire to meditate. Unfortunately, Wendy had work that needed to get done although I am sure she would have preferred to join us.

What called these girls out into Nature? Was it the primal urge to gather near the fire? Did the spirit of the fire beckon them to come and embrace its comfort and warmth?

 
Regardless of the cause, I felt a stab of disappointment with myself. If I had been more actively working on my storytelling, I would have been able to tell a story near the fire. I could have extended the fleeting joy that we shared. We could have entertained, and educated, ourselves, and each other, the way it has been done for time immemorial. Perhaps, it was an opportunity lost. Or, perhaps it was simply a gentle reminder of the importance of pursuing personal growth. I say, it was a nice way to end another day on this MooseBoots path.

A New Milestone

The focus of my MooseBoots journey is very wide, ranging from learning native skills to practicing healing.  It is really a study of "technologies" that we, all being from some indigenous tradition if we dig back far enough, have lost.  It is this wisdom that helps us all to live more satisfying and fulfilled lives, to be a part of the natural world, which, in my opinion, is alive with spirits, love, and purpose. 

The reality is that this knowledge, these beliefs, have been dying, slowly fading from the general consciousness as fewer and fewer people practice, or even acknowledge that it exists.  I have read, but have no first hand experience, that even in some native tribes the youth show no interest in learning these practices.  As such, elders carry these treasured teachings to their graves and beyond into the spirit world.

There has been a resurgence of interest recently.  There are people, my teachers for example, teaching these skills.  Perhaps because of this renewed interest, there seems to be some shift of consciousness occurring in the world.  Maybe, the inverse is true.  It has been suggested that the world will end in 2012 ... the Maya calendar starts a new cycle on December 21, 2012.  Perhaps, it will simply be the beginning of some new phase of humanity.

Last weekend, I achieved a milestone, a part of my conscious shift out of the mainstream goals and focus.  I completed my initial 2-year training program in Shamanic Studies.  During the course of this training, I was introduced to techniques of healing, divination, working with death and dying, and general spiritual practice.  Regardless of any cosmic shifts that may be occurring, it has triggered a mental shift for me.  I will be continuing on, with Wendy's encouragement and support, to the Graduate Program in Advanced Shamanism and Dreamscaping the New Earth.  I am also planning on furthering my studies of herbalism, storytelling, and general native skills.

As I've said many times, knowledge gained but not applied is useless.  It is even worse than useless, it is wasted.  I do not wish to waste these precious, treasured teachings.  I will continue to practice these things, to use this knowledge to help make the world a better place.  I do not claim to have any super-human power or to be an all-powerful shamanic practitioner.  I am simply a man who would like to help any way he can.  I am but a cub in my awakening, if you need assistance,  I would like to help in any small way that I can.  Send me a message.

Thank you for following along on my MooseBoots trail.  I am grateful for all of the gifts I have been given, especially the love and support of Wendy, the Girls (Big Little Sister, Little Fire Faery, and Precious), my family and friends.  Of course, my gratitude also extends to each of the connections I have made on this path.

Another Cycle Complete

I have recently realized that I have been blogging about this MooseBoots journey for a bit over a year.  The reminder was this itching little feeling in my whole being ... it is time ... time ... time to tap!  Last year, we tapped a bit earlier.  It was an early season.  We hope this one is better.  I must admit though that we did have enough syrup for the year ... even with our little backyard rig.  This year may be better ... I should have a bit more time to boil things with the job change.
So, how have I grown?  Where do I need to focus to continue this growth?  I leave it to you to reflect on the details.  I am trying to live in this moment on this path.  I find myself growing in incredible ways and along the way I find reminders, way points really, that I am moving in the right direction.  Sometimes, these can be merely a calm "knowing".  Sometimes, they are a reassuring passage in a book by an author I respect.  For instance, I just completed "The Vision", by Tom Brown.  While reading the last few pages of the book, I found myself shaking my head vigorously in agreement.

Where am I going?  Perhaps, the best way to tell you is to show you my plan.  Of course, plans have a way of being modified.  Here is the stack of books on my desk to be read, or re-read.

          

These books, coupled with spirit guides, have become my elders, my teachers.  While I have native ancestry, from both the Midwest plains Indians and, in all likelihood, more local tribes, I do not have contact and was not raised in these traditions.  In spite of this, I am always surprised to find how closely my beliefs parallel those in native cultures.  And with all this, I agonize at the pace of learning, but know that it is as it should be.  At some point, I hope to expand out and work with actual elders, but for now I do as I must.  Perhaps, I will have to opportunity to work more closely with the folks at the Maine Primitive Skills School.

I intend to continue working with our nature group(s).  I have been pondering for some time that there must be some basic skill set that allows one to live with the Earth for extended periods.  This was confirmed for me when I ran across this video.



This simple project uses several skills (coal burning, cordage making, carving) combined to achieve a goal.  That sounds exactly like I was thinking.  So, what are these skills?  I am working on it.  I reviewed Tom Brown's description of going into an extended survival situation in the back of Tom Brown's Field Guide to Living with the Earth.  I started making a list of the tasks.  Then, I will break those down into skills.

I will continue learning to braintan.  I still have hides left in various states of completion that need to be finished.  These have been salted and stored.  Of course, I have already put out there the desire for more hides to work in the fall, including moose hides.  I also need to finish my series of posts on braintanning.  Perhaps, it will expand into using the leather as well.

In addition, I will continue working in all of the other things.  I will be continuing on to a more advance Shamanic Apprenticeship this fall.  We hope to expand our foraging efforts.  I need to work on integrating our herbal remedies into our daily life ... we were all recently sick and it completely slipped my mind to gather white pine tea to help combat the flu.  It appears that the knowledge is there, but the wisdom to use it could use some work.  We will be re-starting our hive this Spring.  We will continue brewing, perhaps even a bit more of the maple stuff.  We are working on learning to make soap, tallow candles, and incense.

As you can probably see, there is a lot to do, much to learn, and a lot of growing to do in this next year.  I  find myself so fulfilled on this journey.  I am doing what needs to be done and am much happier for it.  Wendy and I have created many good things in our life together, her book, Surviving the Apocalypse in the Suburbs, our amazing children, our growing wisdom, and, perhaps, a small change for the better in the world.  Thank you, friends, for sharing in my growth.

Little Voices

I was reflecting back the other day, thinking of the blessings in my life and my budding awareness.  It occurred to me that some of the skills I seek now, have been with me my whole life.  I have begun my MooseBoots quest, my journey to rediscovering native wisdom metaphorically symbolized by a pair of hand-made boots of hand-tanned  moose hides, moose boots.  Of course, before that, I knew things intuitively.  I have always considered myself intuitive, perhaps a bit psychic.  Now, I believe that it is all simply being in touch with "the Spirit In All Things", the Universe, our ancient ancestors through genetic material, or whatever you need or want to call it, perhaps even God.

In particular, two examples stood out clearly.  In the first, I did not listen to a very clear suggestion.  Let me paint the picture ....  One morning, I was driving to work.  The route I took was a series of back roads to a point where I joined one of the main roads travelled by many southern Mainers.  I travelled in the opposite direction.  The last in the series of little road is Cressey Road, in Gorham.  Cressey Road, at the time, teed into Route 25.  Route 25 is a major commuting road into Portland.  At this particular spot, Route 25 had two lanes of traffic heading eastward and one heading westward.  I needed to make a left turn into the westward lane across the two lanes of eastward traffic.  Anyone who knows this spot knows that this place was dangerous.  I sat at the stop sign watching a lumbering high-walled truck coming up the hill in the right lane to turn onto Cressey Road.  I looked around him as best I could, I could see no one.  "DON'T GO!"  It perhaps was not a loud voice, but it was clear.  I semi-negotiated and thought it will be fine, as I released the clutch and stepped on the accelerator.

The other was not a clear spoken voice, but a feeling, a knowing.  Of course, being human, I was stubborn with this one, too.  For several years, I had been unhappy with my job with a small start-up company.  I knew that the management was not going to be able to make the company a success within the first two years.  The problems were broad ranging, lack of leadership ability, poor planning, non-existent marketing/sales ability, and under-bidding every job in terms of time and money.  I believed, however, that I could change all of that.  While I am not experienced in all of these things, I have a fairly good dose of common sense and I can lead.  The problem was, after several years of trying to "save" the company, that the management could not see its own weaknesses and did not see a need to change.  I became very combative with the president of the company, but was so valuable that they tolerated it.  I knew after two years that I needed to find another job and that it was not healthy for me to stay.  I stayed with it for almost six more years, even with repeated hints - my mother's stroke from work related stress (amongst other things), persistent shoulder pain (from stress), my personality changing from one of optimism and happiness to anger and frustration, lay-offs, my aunt's heart attack and passing, and my grandmother's passing.  All of these signs reminding me to live, really live, my life!  Happily, January of this year, I started a new job.  My attitude has reverted back, although I still have my moments.  More importantly, this new job will allow me to focus on those things that a most important, my family, my friends, and my personal growth and development.

How many times have you ignored that voice?  Do you feel guilty for it?  I have to make amends to these helpers.  I do appreciate that they are there to guide me.  I have started to actively listen again.  Of course, I have conditioned myself to ignore them and must now work hard to re-establish the link.  This is part of my MooseBoots journey.  I am humbled by the fact that they are with me and willing to help.  Thank you, Universe.

Coming Of Age

There are transition times in our lives.  Sometimes, they are gradual changes recognized only much later,  Other times, they are clearly marked instances.  Last Fall, I was invited to participate in an observation of one such event, a young man's coming of age ceremony.  Ceremonies like this were common around the world in indigenous cultures - a symbolic transition to mark the real, often physical, change.  They were used to inform the "honoree" of his/her changing role in the society. 

Perhaps, this is why they are not common in ours - we have no clearly defined roles.  We hold our kids back ... physically, they are adults much younger than the legal definition.  How often have you heard, of a young woman, "She is ONLY 16?!  I thought she was 21"?  Further, when they become adults, we do not have roles for them to fill, besides that of a consumer.  We have lost our identities somewhere along the way.  It would not be a problem if, as a society, we had roles to support the people who surround us.  In indigenous tribes, we might be hunters, healers, basket makers, etc. to support the whole tribe.

My part is this ceremony was not necessarily key to the process, but vital for this young person's growth.  I was asked to offer a piece wisdom I have learned during my life.  We don't often, in these times, interact with those much older and so we lose their accumulated wisdom.  I feel honored to have been asked.  I was surprised to be told that this young man considers me a part of his spiritual family.  I was bowled over by the recognition that there are people out there who consider me as a vessel for wisdom - we don't always recognize those slow changes in ourselves.

I pondered for weeks about what was the most important piece of wisdom I could share.  When put into this context, it seemed important to pass on something that would serve him his whole life.  Several other men were also asked to speak.  Of course, spirit works in mysterious ways.  Each of the four of us, had different insights to pass on.  It was a genuine sharing of wisdom within a community, however temporary.  I, too, was reminded of a few things - slow down and enjoy the moment.

I offered this ... We create our own reality.  And, we must be honest with ourselves and others.  The first can be somewhat controversial.  I can hear people grumbling already.  The fact is that we DO create our reality.  Evey thing that happens is a result of the choices we make.  Tragic events occur, but if we accept responsibility for ourselves and really look at our actions, with an open-mind and brutal honesty, we will find things that would have changed the result if we had chosen or acted differently.  Additionally, we have to be honest with ourselves and each other.  Honesty is the measure by which we are judged ... was he honest with me, how honest, does he mean what he says, etc.  It is a real tragedy when we see a person who can not even be honest with himself.

Now, several months later, I find myself with one of my own making the transition.  I offer you, Big, Little Sister, the same advice.  I believe that we have raised you with these beliefs.  You are an incredible, young woman.  I am often amazed by the things that you do and the way you do them.  I am proud of you.

My MooseBoots path has been amazing, thus far.  When I look back, I see that I have grown.  I am assuming my proper role even as I learn it.  I am excited to know that I am growing right along with my family, who shares my path.  I recognize that we are always making a transition of one kind or another - life is not static.  I welcome you to share some of your own wisdom here for those in a state of transition.  Ask your family and friends to come and do the same.

Shamanic Gifts

There have been many surprises on this, my MooseBoots path.  Sometimes, it might be a situation where I have the opportunity to comfort someone unexpected.  Sometimes, it might be an unexpected gift.  Perhaps, the latest is the most pleasant of all, a simple reminder that while I travel this path I am accompanied by my family, although sometimes they are kicking and screaming.

Wendy, the girls, and I make a lot of the gifts we give.  I'll admit that with my work schedule, Wendy and the girls do most of the work.  As such, it was no surprise to see the girls working hard to make all of the gifts they would give - Big, Little Sister's knitting needs clicking away, Little Fire Faery learning to use the sewing machine to make a rattle for her new niece, or Precious, drawing and painting.  They worked diligently for weeks to have something for everyone on their lists.

Christmas morning, we opened our gifts.  You may know, or you may have guessed, we are not particularly religious.  In fact, if asked, I would say we are not ... I am not saying that we are not spiritual, just not religious.  I opened an envelope from Little Fire Faery.  Inside, I found this drawing.

Little Fire Faery had journeyed to retrieve power animals for Wendy and me.  Wendy's new guide is a frog.  Mine, specifically, is a rattlesnake.  We attended a shamanic journeying workshop this summer so that Wendy, Big Little Sister, and Little Fire Faery could learn to journey.  I thought it had ended there.  This, beautiful act, was a clear indication that I am not alone on my path.  I knew they supported my work, but I didn't clearly understand that they are right beside me on the path.  It is amazing what kids learn when you don't think they are paying attention.

I know that I am blessed.  I, unlike many people, have the full support and encouragement of my family to pursue my true path.  How many people do you know that can honestly say that?  How many other "MooseBoots journeys" are cut short or take unnecessary detours?  My journey, while not defined, is clear.  I have heard many times, and it rings true in this regard, that it is my intent that matters and that I need to let go of outcome.  For me, an engineer who has been trained to plan everything out and set goals, this can be difficult, but I know that I have the support, love, and company of my family.  Thanks, guys.

Farewell - Gramzilla

This path, my MooseBoots journey, provides flashes of the future, hints of what is to come.  Of course, there is no explanation ... hint ... flash ... opportunity ... hint.  It is fairly widely known that I am not completely satisfied in my current position at my current employer.  Perhaps, a new path is emerging ... there have been several coincidences in the last few days.

Let's begin at the start.  My Grandmother has not been well for some time.  She has been bed ridden on and off for months.  She has been in and out of the hospital several times.  She has had numerous surgeries to correct back, hip, and knee issues that prevented her from really living.  Five days ago, she was transported from the hospital, after and extended stay at a rehabilitation hospital and an emergency room, to a hospice facility to receive end-of-life care.

During this time, she had expressed frustration about how long the process was taking.  She had decided that her time was up and that she was ready to die.  I have been a casual bystander for the most part; I played the role of the objective voice of reason for my Mom, Gar.  She relied on me to provide insight into situations without the confusion and fog of family dysfunctions and bickering.  In spite of the fact that I am not completely convinced, she insists that I have been very helpful.  I was also called up to journey to her and try to assess what was holding her back.  I did and relayed the information, which was purportedly helpful.  Then (hint), Gar commented that there may be a place for me in this type of work.

Wendy, the girls, and I went and visited on Saturday after playing a little at a local water park (end of summer deal).  Gramzilla was pretty wiped out, but woke briefly and acknowledged that we were there.  The mood was somber, but this had not really changed much over the last few days.  We stayed for a couple of hours and left.

Sunday, after Wendy's drop off, we stopped in for a quick visit.  One of our neighbors has also not been doing well and we suspected that he was in hospice care too.  I asked and confirmed that he was there; of course, we ran into his wife at the same time.  Wendy spent a while talking with his wife and daughters.  The had been no significant progress with Gramzilla although her pulse had weakened and her breathing had slowed.  So, we left after a bit, offering any assistance we could give to the neighbors.  Wendy also invited one of the daughters over with her child to see our animals. 

The call came in on Monday morning at about 1:45.  Her breathing had changed and she didn't have long.  Now, I didn't get the message until about 6:15, or so, and I had to take chickens in to the butcher.  I texted Gar to let her know.  Then, I rushed about feeding animals, showering, loading chickens with Wendy's help, and left.  I arrived at 7:50.  Gramzilla was certainly different ... gasping, gurgling breathe significant in the last days of life.  Gar began weeping when I walked in the room.  Apparently, she needed a release and support that she was not necessarily getting without Wendy or me present.

The family had gathered and were very somber.  The room was tense with everyone hanging on each gasp ... would there be another?  After a bit, my aunt wanted some music.  She wanted to play some of Gramzilla's favorites ... starting with Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.  I started pandora and typed in the song.  Perhaps I started the whole ball rolling, but ....  I do not believe that this was a sad, somber occasion.  This woman has been struggling with pain and depression for a while.  This should be a celebration of her ability to overcome life's adversities and move on into a new beginning.  Soon, family members were singing along with the songs and telling stories of Gramzilla's life.  There was laughing and joy by the side of her deathbed.  Some family members, including Gar to my surprise, could not condone this and a couple left the room.  Gar did not leave, but I could read the annoyance on her face.  She is an ordained interfaith minister and had dealt extensively with abuse victims and many social services incidents.  I leaned close and spoke softly ... this is their way of dealing with this and it is bringing out stories of Gramzilla.  Who am I to say this?  I have no training, but intuitively (hint) I knew what to say to her to show the need.  It did wonders to relieve the stress in the room and clear the air.

I left to go to the bathroom.  As I walked back down the hall, my neighbors daughter approached ... distraught ... her dad had passed.  Wendy and I have never been terribly close to these people, but we knew them.  She looked to me (flash) for consolation.  I hugged her and assured her that he was in a better place with no pain or suffering.  Then, she floored me with, "my mom would love to see you."  Who am I?  What do I have to offer other than an ear and a sympathetic heart?  She pointed the way down the hall (next door to my grandmother) and walked away.  I hesitantly walked into the room unsure of what to say or do.  I first ran into another of the three daughters and offered her my condolences, a hug, and murmured some reassurance that he would not suffer any more (he was diagnosed recently with painful, uncomfortable cirrhosis of the liver, but he did not drink).  I then approached the new widow.  I guess you don't need to do or say anything in particular; she told me what she needed.  She needed someone to re-assure her that he was better now and that things would be all right.  She just needed someone to listen, to look and see what had happened to her husband, to say that he was a good man, to hug her while she cried at her obviously painful loss (they had been married for 44 years).  I offered any assistance they might need from us and left.

I am an engineer, not a social worker, clergyman, or physician.  I am an apprentice studying Shamanism.  Regardless, I returned to much the same scene I had arrived at in my grandmother's room in the morning.  I called Wendy to relay the message about the neighbor to the other neighbors who had asked.  She offered to bring lunch for everyone.  After a bit, she arrived and everyone enjoyed the delicious food she brought.  Nothing much had changed ... maybe the breathing was bit slower.  She left, the girls were staying, and I walked her out.  When I returned not 5 minutes later, everything had changed.  The gasps were gone and the breathing had changed to very shallow attempts to breathe.  Within 2 minutes, she was gone.  Gramzilla had passed over.  She had completed the transition from this plane of existence to the next. 

The girls were brave and had witnessed the final minutes.  The Precious and Little Fire Faerie drew some pictures and placed them on her chest.  Big Little Sister needed something from home to complete her drawing.  We will be sure to pass it on to be with Gramzilla.

The last few days have been long.  I have seen flashes of were this MooseBoots journey is taking me, but the picture is far from complete.  I have learned of talents I never knew I possessed.  I had used them to offer comfort and insight.  Gar told me later that I had been very helpful to her ... I was only doing what came naturally and intuitively.  I have much to learn, but the last few months, with Tammy's passing and now Gramzilla's, have shown me that the application is far more valuable that the conscious recognition of the knowledge.

Rest in Peace, Gramzilla.  Thank you for helping to shape who I am.

Moose Boots? Naw!

My MooseBoots journey has led me to my apprenticeship.  The stated goal of the program is to "grow a deep relationship with Spirit and integrate these practices into daily life."  I have always believed that there are spirits in the universe to help guide us, protect us, and teach us.  Religion, however, has never worked for me.  What I believe is a deep seated awareness that tends to dislike labels of all types and attempts to dictate behaviour.  This seems to support my beliefs in the spirit of the earth, of family, of responsibility, and of respect.

The last bit of homework I need to complete (rather quickly) is to make an article of clothing.  Leather seemed a nature material for me given all of the learning I am doing with hide tanning.  Unfortuantely, I have not tanned enough material well enough to make anything other than a simple pouch.  So, I will be using commercially tanned craft grade elk hide.  I bought it make a practice set of boots ... note these would not be moose boots because I did not tan it, it is not moose, and still have a lot to learn!  Your task is to identify this ....

It may be pretty easy for all of you, but this is not within my comfortable range of skills.  I will do the best I can and I guess that that is all that matters.  Maybe, I will make a pouch with the road-kill squirrel hide to keep people from focusing too much on this.  This MooseBoots journey sure has taught some interesting lessons so far; I wonder what other opportunities await!

A Visit

This morning, I could not sleep.  So, I got up and puttered around the silent house.  I had a slight headache.  I tried to check out the news, but couldn't focus.  So, I thought I might try a shamanic journey and check in with my spiritual helpers and teachers.  As I gathered everyone, the dog jumped in my lap ... I guess that was not in the cards.

So, we sat quietly ... one dog in my lap (beagles!) and the other on the floor at my feet.  We were all just dosing and sitting quietly.  I became aware of something.  I opened my eyes in the early morning light and saw ...

This is not a mouse.  It is a Shrew.  Now, the dogs were oblivious.  So, what message does he have for me?  What wisdom can he share?  That remains to be seen.  I watched him for a few minutes ... clearly he was looking for a way out.  He crept behind the recycling basket, under a piece of paper the girls had left on the floor, to the door.  Then, he crept back silently.  All the while, the dogs snoozed.  Then, he moved toward the kitchen and under a bookshelf through a crack not more than 3/8" tall.

I got up at that point and the Chow decided she smelled something and investigated the trail to the door.  My friend was safely hidden under the bookshelf.  A short while later, he scurried, dogs still pretty oblivious, into the kitchen and under the stove. 

I am working on developing my awareness, whether in the woods or at home.  The things I see and experience during these time amaze me.  I have had a chipmunk walk across my boot in the woods while hunting.  I have had red squirrels climb down trees withing inches of me.  Now, the shrew visited within two feet with no hesitation.  Farewell, friend.

Creative Energy

This weekend, I was privileged enough to attend a workshop on 2012.  The intent was that there is not necessarily an apocalyptic event on the horizon, as all of the media hype and fear would have us believe.  December 21, 2012 is about a change.  Many cultures support the belief that change it brewing.  Our collective global attitudes and beliefs shape whether those things will be positive, years of peace and prosperity, or negative, apocalypse.

During this workshop, I not only re-charged my shamanic batteries, but I was also reminded of this ancient wisdom - we are all an integral part of everything.  This gyst was that we are all connected to everything and can/do manifest those things we envision.  Shamans in many culture knew this to be true, in spite of all attempts at societal conversion.  Unfortunately, society tells us today that this is simply impossible.  Personally, I have experienced this first hand.  For me, part of re-learning primitive skills is an attempt at reconnecting to nature.

Regardless whether you believe that you can directly affect global change, we all know that we are capable of manipulating our immediate surroundings and sphere of influence.  Your change will impact others even if it is small - learning to hunt rabbits later in life can affect your childrens feelings about preserving the environment.  Which, in turn, may affect someone elses's belief and so on, until a large enough chunk of society feels the same way.  This type of shift can be seen today with the environmental movement as compared to the early part of the 1900s and the industrial revolution.

Be mindful about your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs.  Even if you do not believe that your attitudes or beliefs can cause change, we all know that our actions do.  A little kindness goes a long way toward making someones day.  Fear need not rule your life. 

How It All Started - Part 4 - Hides and Apprenticeship

So, I am nearing the end the history lessons.  Within the last year, I have been led to really start digging in.  This fall, I was given a number of hides - moose and deer.  In the interest of full disclosure...I was given three moose hides, four deer hides, eight deer legs, one racoon hide, and two deer heads.  I must say that there is a very large gap between tanning a rabbit hide and a moose hide.  Rather than using Back to Basics, I decided to follow the more traditional method in Tom Brown's Field Guide to Living with the Earth.  I will follow up in several posts with all of the details.  If you are going to brain tan hides, or want to learn any number of primitive skills, I would highly recommend picking up Tom Brown's Field Guide to Living with the Earth.

Brain Tanning, In Process

Rendered Racoon Fat

Through a strange turn of events, I finally decided to meet with some local shamans for a medical issue.  Prior to my visit, I did a little digging around on the web.  I found that they teach an apprenticeship course.  I toyed with the idea before my visit, but was not completely convinced.  After the visit, during which I mentioned the idea, I received a call about the rapidly approaching class.  After some discussion and coaxing by two particularly wise women in my life, I decided to enroll.  I am sure there will be a few posts about this too.

So, now you are as up to speed as I can get you without completely driving you away screaming in bored agony.